One thing about being in the military: civilians don't know exactly what you've been through. Sure, there are movies out there with a lot of gore, a lot of blood, guts, and violence. But watching is not living. It's probably as visually desensitizing, but you don't feel what's happening. You don't have times during the movie where you feel so cold that you think you'll fall asleep and never wake up. You don't feel so hot that you think you're going to pass out if you take one more step. You're not getting yelled at. You also aren't standing there for two hours at attention listening to a Captain sob his way through a speech after two men in his battery got blown to pieces. And you probably wouldn't understand how sorry and embarrassed that I felt for him that he couldn't contain his emotion. A person's imagination while watching a movie or reading a book only takes them as far as their prior experience lets them. I don't even think the soldiers in my new unit really have an extended enough imagination to really understand how hairy things can be, even though basic training/AIT is stressful enough to give you a feel for the real deal.

I know this because of the way the non-militarily initiated people around me talk. A friend of mine mentioned how he would have to go special forces if he joined the military. My sister had the nerve to call my Class-As a little boy suit offhandedly as I spent hours spiffing it up.

My sister's comment, with the addition of a little more goading, lead to a small coming to terms argument. My friend, well, I'd normally let a small ignorant comment like that slide, but I happened to be around a few military buddies at the time and need to inform him of the level of commitment needed to go special forces, 10 years of just surviving in the military for instance. I can imagine each of these comments came from a little too much imagining without the background for any sort of real internal analysis to judge through.

This sort of thing is exactly why my former military buddies are hub of my social life. Each of them do know what is real and what is imaginary. Each of them know stress. Each of them know sacrifice. Each of them know the power of symbolism. And each of them know what all of the symbols and practices in the Army stand for. There's no bravado about what could be, but there is a lot of bravado over what has been. The best kind of company is from those who not only think, but understand.

posted by Brett @ 1:49 PM